Ponywoman's Grate Adventure!
by dniweR
Summary: Tha adventahs of Ponywoman Kurtiss n her breadtaking romoooonssse! Hope u enjoi PS no constructing ur critisicm THATS STILL CRITISIZING MEEE! H8RS! Plz flame (dose r good righte?)
1. Chapter 1

My name is Ponywoman Kurtiss but everyone calls me Kiss bcz when you take out the Urt in Kurtiss it's Kiss. I live with my sisters. There's to of them. The oldest one is Darina she is a big bully and yells at me bcz she blames me for mom n pop dyeing. They died in a train crash. They were the ones driving the train but they hit a car and the people in the car weren't looking n they went in front of the tracks and they died n so did mom n pop. It was a tradgedie. But Darina blames me for it so im like "wth Darina I wasnt even in the train s um like uh y u bein a noob."

My other sister is Juicygirl. I love her n she looks like a Greek goddess (not the ugly one tho lol). She's not as pretty as me tho. I have long gold/red hair that flows down my back. It's pink at the ends which is natural. It has red streaks in it. Juicygirl's hair is bright gold like molten lava accept it's gold. Everybody thinks shes hot like lava n she attracts boys like there flies. She hates school n she dropped out to b wit me n Darina and that's reminds me another reason Darina hates me she wanted 2 go 2 collidge but she stayed home so i cld go in her place (I'm 14 n im a freshwoman bcz im eddvanced) n she spends all her time work n she stays like 25 hours a day than comes home n shes all cranky. Isnt she AWFUL?

Juicygirl hates school n she dropped out to b wit me n Darina n so she cld get a job bcz we hav no money bcz we r greasars. She werks the Frowny Face (A/N bcz DX geddit) witch is a gas station. We altso needed tha money bcz we r greasars. The ritch kids r tha Soshizz (a/n is that hao u spell it i only saw the movie n herd chaptah 1 in tha oddiobook bcz reeding is boring.) They always jump us greasars. I have never been jumped butt mah frends hav. My frends r Two-Centz Matthyews, Austin Houstin (a/n bcz both r cities in texas lol), Evets Random, n Cadie John. Evets isnt rlly my frend its my sisters frend (Juicygirl not Darina bcz Darina has no frends HAHA whadda losah!)

Cadie is ma BEE EFF EFF (A/N bcz they didnt abbreveeate stuff in that time duz anyone kno wat yeer is wass?) but she's always gettin dumped by greasy boiz bcz they think her scar is uggely. Also her 'rents beet her. Wutta buncha butthedz. sh ehas loooong black hare down her back (A/N lol like rock lobstah DOWN, DOWN! laa lolz) and it reaches al lthe way to the bax of her nees. She ses its worse wen her rents r ignoring her. She got jumped once n thats how she got her scar. Evets hates me but not Cadie thats not fare. even Austin likes her n she has pointy teef n she is SCAAAAARYY! Shes nuttin like tha books i reed! Well thats it i gess by.

**A/N: Thats it hope u enjoid! Also i 4got Ponywoman's haire goes to her ankels. I was gonna name her Ponygirl butt then I was lyke wutta bout whn shes a gurl? Lol ttyl oh also she's RLLY prdy. Next chappie soon i only need one revyoo n ill put it out tmrow! ok by xd!**


	2. OOOOH NOOOOOOO!

A/N: Alright, the jig is up. First off, thanks to all you reviewers, especially the one who said I needed an institute or something. But I assure you, I am of sound mind, and "Ponywoman's Grate Adventure" is a parody. Everything, from my username to the grammatical errors, are part of the parody. I know exactly what a Soc is (funny how similar that sounded to "Soshizz") and this isn't an Outsiders-as-girls thing. They will all meet their male counterparts at some point, and some lovely Mary-Sue romance will be started up! I got this idea while listening to "Mother, Stop Being Ridiculous," which was a bit like a parody of my beloved HP, so I decided to try a bad fanfiction of my own! I drew some of my ideas out of one of my favorite fanfics, "The Tale of an Elf" which is a lovely parody about a love square between Aragorn, Frodo, Patricia, and Figwit. Finally, I am open to all critisism. It inspires me, esoecially the reviewer who said this was awful! You guys are great! Now, here is chapter 2 of my parody about Ponywoman and her...interesting adventures.

Won day I was wokking home from tha movies n I saw a red kar (i know how to spell car butt t looks TUFF wit a k) following me o no! A bunch of Soshizz jumped out of the kar. "Oh no its just like we thought" they cryd. "Ponywoman we need to cut ur face bcz our gf's Cherry and Marsha hav to b the prttiest Socizz! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!" And they laffd like that for like 10 minutes. It never occured to me to try n escape...hmmm.

But SUDDENLY as they were about to cut me a boy who looked just like me (but as a boy ew im not mail looking) jumped into the alley! "No take me instead!" he yelled! I hided in the shadows until they was done cutting his face! then a bunch of guys who looked just like my frends but as guys (the Evets guy looked more femanine than her, tho) came over n they helped the boi! They chased away the Soshizz! Then the guy who looked like Dairy (thats wut we call Darina bcz she always drinks Dairy bcz it helps her think while she manages a roof company) came over n yelled at the kid for not using his hed n I was like "he used his hed his face is on his hed n they cut it duh." But i didnt say that.

Then they all left n I decided to follow them home bcz thats not stalkerish or anything.

A/N: Yeah, hope you all "enjoid". As a notorious Aunt Josephine type of person, I found this very difficult to write. Thanks for reading, especially since there's very few souls brave enough to have read this far. You deserve a medal. Bye guys!


	3. Just hanging out behind this fence

**A/N: Wow, guys! Almost 20 reviews! Thank you SO MUCH! Unfortunately, there's ****_still_**** some people who are confused, so if you are already aware this is NOT a serious fic, good for you! If not, THIS IS NOT AN ACTUAL STORY I ****_SERIOUSLY_**** THINK IS QUALITY WORK! You silly goose! Alright, just one more thing: ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR SOMETHING BIZARRE, I WANT! I'm serious, today someone in school (Jeeeessss ^_^) told me to have Darry have an encounter with ****_sharks._**** So anything at all will work! :) Now, to the "story":**

When I gawt 2 the howse where the ppl lived, it was rlly crappy. Thats ok tho bcz we r greasars n that means we r poor boohoo. Alluvasuddin the Darina gie yelled "PONAYBOY YOU STOOPID CHILD!" I was shocked that his name was Ponyboy. That was such poor planning! WHat abt wen he's a eddult, he will want to be a Pony_man_. At least my parents thought ahed.

I didnt say that to them tho bcz that wld be a fence ivv.

Then suddenly a blonde boy who looked like tom felton saw me! He saw me even tho i was hiding behind the chainlink fence! "Oh no!" I wimpered.

"FEEEEE FIIIII FOOOOOOOO FUUUUUUUUM!" he screemd. "WHOO R UUUUU!"

"My name is Ponywoman Kurtiss!" I gave him my sweetes wink/smile bcz whenever I do that boiz stop and look. (It didnt werk on him bt I think i saw ponyboy pass out in the backround.)

"DALLY AAAAAAAAANNGRYYYYYYYYY!"

Then he lumbered tword me.

"Ohno!" I yelled n i ran all th eway back to my howse! Darina wasnt home from werk yet but Juicygirl n Evets were werking on a kar in tha yard n Austin n Cadie n Two-Centz were hangin out on the porch. "Help me plz!" I cried. first I hoped Austin wld help me bcz she was good at beeting ppl up but then I figured Evets was ugly enuff 2 just scare him away.

Then I noticed a bunch of guys behind the caveman guy it was Ponyboy n his frends! One guy was kinda ginger n he had sideburnz n there was a guy wit RLLY crly hare just like Evets (accept Evets has hare down 2 her jacksy) n there was a guy hoo looked just like Cadie!

"No dallas no." they cried. Then they saw us n there Eyes went like dis: . bcz 1) I was so prtty 2) there was exact dobbelgangers uv dem RITE DERE! (Darina had conveniently arrived home 4 this prt.

"Dallas finks yoo is priiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"dally to austin. 4 a sec i was jelliss n i considred triing to steel his attenshin bcz im much prttier but thn i realized dally was stoopid so she cn hav him. Plus he liked hr so this was a once in a wifetime opprotunity for her. Then all at the same time the boys said we shld go to the DIngo, because that's the only place they ever go to hang out. Ever.

**A/N: Hope you enjoid (no longer putting that into quotes, because it's our very own inside joke now). Also, just so you know, this isn't just a parody of ****_The Outsiders_****. I have read some baaaaaad fanfiction. Also, Mary-Sue alert! Finally, this "chappie" is for my grandma.**


	4. Ponywoman's true love

**A/N: Hey, guys. I had a relly bad day today, so I decided to update. Oh, also, some of my friends think Dally was stupid and violent, so I turned him into a neanderthal. LOL, here we go:**

Wen we got 2 the dingo all the boiz (bcz they are all SO close they stick togetha all the time, always) pulled up a seet 4 watever gurl they wuvved (they awl just happened to b attracted to gurls w/ names similar to theirs). They all ate like gentle man, n they cld totally offoerd the meal 4 all of us, despite being poor. The dally guy didnt do any of those tho. He ate by stuffing his food in his face n he was a dedbeet.

Then suddenly a wateress came n gav us a pie n she put it in front dally. He went "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" then he picked it up n took a bite butt i gess he dndt like it bcz he got up and jumped from foot to foot, pulling out his har en sputtering.

"GGGRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHH!"

He lookd like a blond Darina accept he was a stoopid.

Then he **picked** uo tha pie n throo it right 2 Evets! It landed on her byootiful curly hare. He smiled a bucktoothed smile n patted his tummy saying "Ooo oo ah ah!" Then Evets screamed n runned around tha resterontt. hen everyone else picked uo there piez (which had convenyently apppeeered thare) n thru them everywhere! then we all chuckled n left without a problem even tho we had just crashed the resteraonnt.

Suddenly, Ponyboy pulled me aside. "Ponywoman," he sed. "You are my stupid lamp. I think you are the most filthy Bombur that ever pooped the cafeteria. You are the fire helmet to my Martin Freeman, the remote control to my pool, the head that completes my dirty Huckleberry Finn. Even if you fight my arm, I will always love you and your poopy ways. Ponywoman, my dear window, although we have only known each other for a few short hours, I love you!"

"Thanks."

**A/N: I made a Mad Libs for my baby brother for that confession of Ponyboy's. It started like this:**

**You are my (adjective) (noun) I think you are the most (adjective) (noun) that ever (verb) the (place). You are the (noun) to my (noun), the (noun) to my (noun), the (noun) that completes my (adjective) (noun). Even if you (verb) my (body part), I will always (noun) you and your (adjective) ways. Ponywoman, my dear (noun), although we have only known each other for a few short hours, I love you!**

**He also created the dialogue of Monster Dally and the pie scene. Love ya, bro! Hope all you guys enjoi! :)**


	5. How is this more than a chapter long?

**A/N: dniweR, here, with an update (anybody who understood that Luke Conard reference, you are toasty :) ). So I'm bored and I was just trolling around YouTube watching Peter Hollens videos, when I thought, "Hey...I could be mildly productive!" So, Chapter Five. I do not plan these chapters ahead, so I have no idea what's gonna happen in this chapter. This should be good...**

On tha way howme the boiz were fitting over hoo had the best mustache. It rlly pissed Darina off bcz she wanted Darry 2 pay attention just 2 her. When we got home she ws complainin about it. I thought it was annoying 2 so i sed "IKR, Darina, everyone knos u hav tha bushiest mustach". Seriously she loox like Uncle Vernon. She got rlly mad.

"ERMAHGERD U R IN SO MUCH TRUBBEL!"

then she smacked me one to the hed. It didnt hurt that much but...IT ROOINED MAH HARE!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO!" Mah hare is so importent to me.

I runned owtta tha howse n went strate 2 tha salon. It was only like 9 so they were still open. They fixed my hare n even gave me a coopon! Then on my way home I saw a kar taling me. "Oh no! This sityooashun isnt cliche at all!" Then 2 boiz got outta tha kar. "We no wut u carry!" sed a boi wit lotsa rings. "We no wut u r in pusseshin uv!" 1ce i saw his rings i noo wut he wus...

"ERMAHGERD UR A RINGWRAITH!" I screemed. "EXPECTO PATRONUUUUM!"

"Only one of those fandoms currenly exist!" sed the soshe. "Now give it 2 us!"

"WUT!"

"The coopooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!" he yelled in agginy. "My frend Rand not hot at all! we hav terrable hare n we need the coopon bcz we like to get a good deal!"

"Thats y i shop at walmart"

"GIVE...ME...THE...COOOOOPOOOOOOOON!"

"NOOOO!" I cryed. Literally!

Then a shadowy figuire emerged from the fog! "Gack!" I said!

"It is I!" the persin yelld. "Ponyboy! And my faithful puppy - I mean sidekick - Johnny!"

Then Johnny beet up tha Soshizz. But then Ponyboy gt hit wit a pinecone n he freekd owt! He Johnny got cot off gard, then he did wut he hadda doo...he used his nife n cut off tha Soshizz hare! We yoosd tha time it took 4 them 2 reelize wut happend 2 run away. We knew hoo cld help us. It was Dally, bcz his hare is always changing from dark brown to blonde bcz ppl cant decide weather their gnna reed tha boo or watch tha movie.

**A/N: Hope you enjoid, I don't know where this came from. Congrats to you if you got the obscure Series of Unfortunate Events reference ("Gack!"). Oh, also, any Minisrty of Magic fans out there? I love them but I have nobody to talk to about it, lol.**


	6. Soap Opera Moment

**A/N: Wow...it's only been 10 days...It feels like longer! I love how school gets out = I write LESS, haha. Whatever. I've been pretty upset lately because my friends (well.) booted me out and left me to sit in the back of the room with some of the ****_boys, lol!_**** I mean, I'm not the type of person who's like "Girls can't sit with boys! It's not fitting!" but seriously? Dumping me into the back alone with only the male population of the class? Isn't there a girl code for that?! LOL! Well, at least it was the NICE boys, not the James Bond, 2Pac worshipping ones XD. And besides, I didn't really sit ****_with_**** them. The seat next to me was empty... Whatever. Me and one of the boys are making a comic now so that's fun. :)**

**Now here's the garbage:**

Wen we gott 2 Buck's, Dally was thare. I hav dessidid not 2 describe this seen bcz u red it in tha book, soh tha movie, n read it in countliss fanfics. It was eggzackly the same as the urijinell, butt I was there batting mah eyelashes in a pitiful manor. Oh, also, even though I was in a fight 2 minutes ago I looked only slightly ruffled (in an attracktive way).

Dally told us 2 catch a trane, keep our noses out of the cold, JZ Mountain, u kno tha drill.

Wen we got to the stashin, we made it onto the trane n Ponyboy cuddelled me bcz we were dating nao n tha smelly trane kar we was ridin in was tha prfkt place 2 start hour relationshipp!

"Woe is me, my love," I said to Ponyboy.

"What trubblez u my deer?" he ax'd.

"Im scared bcz mah 'rentz dyed in a trane krash." I didnt mentun they hit a kar n the ppl in the kar dyed 2 bcz he mite fink i was cray cray!

"My parent dyed in a kar reck. U kno, they was hit by a trane, they was."

I gaps'd. "Wut trane!"

"A big bloo 1 - "

"Wit a red numbah 12 on da frunt?!"

"Ermahgerd yah!"

I gapsed eggen. "Ur parents were in da stashin waggin?!"

"Ermahgerd yah! Hao u kno dis stuff gf!"

"Bcz...MAH RENTZ WUZZ DRIVIN THA TRANE, BRUTHA!"

Then at tha same thyme (bcz we wurr ment 4 eachudder) we sed "U killd mah parents!"

We luked at each uther. In a voisse that sounded like Darina when he - i mean she - was tired (cold raspy Gollum) he hissd "Voooooooooldemoooooooorttt..."

Then Johnny pyped up wit sum comic releif.

"You can have my parents if it makes u feel any better!" We luked at him like "STFU puppy."

"Mine, too!" Said a voice.

"WTSF!" skreeechd Ponyboy. "Hoo iz dat?!"

"Its jusht me herherher.." muttrd the voice. It came frum Johnnys jackitt!

"Johnny, is there something you need to tell us...?" axd Pony unsertinly.

"No - Aye-" But b4 he cld finish CADIE CLIMBED OUTTA HIS JAKKIT!

"WTSF!" Screemd Johnny. "U R AN OVERLIE ATTACHD GF!"

"Im clingy bcz i kare."

Then tha trane screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeched like my 2nd grade teecher n we stawpd.

It wuz da beginnin uvv are new lyvez.

**A/N: Hope all you people enjoid! OH and I have something to tell you: Remember a couple of chapters ago, when I said it was Jess who wanted me to make Darry swim with the sharks? IT WAS MATTHEW, ALRIGHT? XD Jess just wanted him to fall of the roof (fall off a roof, no biggy lol) into the pool. ****_Matt_**** added the sharks, and I got confused. I kept forgetting to correct that, but this time I remembered! IT WAS MATT! XD!**

**Have a great, enjoiable holiday! Make sure your pools are free of sharks! :)**

**P.S. Should I make a serious story? My grandma wants me to lol :p. **


	7. How to be a New Yorker

**A/N: Hey everybody. I'm sad today so uh...yeah. I'm pretty frowny most of the time lol. But it's so funny to me that you guys find this funny! And that you like it so much you take the time to decipher it. :') Ya'll are mah bee eff effz lol!**

**Speaking of Ponywoman, let's go on with the chapter...**

**NAH, just kidding. While I can at least pretend to myself I have your attention, I will ask - for the second time - SHOULD I WRITE A SERIOUS FANFICTION? I have several ideas for other parodies but I'd like to write a serious story. But who cares what I want; It's your opinion that matters. Do YOU PEOPLE want to read it, that's the real question. Now, except the first chapter's A/N, I've never asked you for a review, so please answer the question, I don't want to feel like I'm talking to myself.**

**I do not own ****_The Outsiders_****. In fact, I'm pretty sure S.E. would be pretty pissed to read this.**

I was sleeping piecefully when somebody woke me up from mai sleep. It was Dally! (Yes, he woke me up first, bcz I'm a Mary-Sue which means he's only knone me 4 a limiddid thyme but he luuuvs meh.)

He grunted at me, then moved on to wake Pony (who I was mad at still), Johnny, and Cadie. Cadie imediedly sed "WURRS JOHNNAY" n Johnny hugged her (bcz clingyness is so in right nao).

Dally sed three things that werr apparently tha only important thingz in dis seen n there4 the only things I shall repeet:

1. DALLY WANTS A &#$% *&!&%$ $#&!&%# &#$$ &#&$ #$%^## ^^$ ^&^* *&^$#$%^& # ! $%$# KOOOOOL SIGGERETTT!

2. TWO-BIT N 2CENTZ WANNA GO 2 TEXAS.

3. Let's go 2 Dairy Queen cuz im HUNGARAY!

Dat last 1 abt Dairy Kueen made me wanna krie bcz I missed Juicygirl, Austin, Evets (hoo we call E-V 4 short),2Centz, n even Dairy (even tho this was all obbvyissly her folt.)

I didnt hav to worry abt Austin tho. When we got out 2 ze kar, Austin was awaitin out dare in her kar. Us gurlz went wit her n da boiz went wit Dally. I didnt trust his drivin none.

We sat at gurlz tables n boiz tablz at Dairy Kween. I explaind the sittuation between me n pony 2 Austin. She sed, "Gurl, if dere's anythin I lernd frum fanficshin itz dat no madder wut, ull 4get bout ur rentz bye tha thyme tha fick iz dunn bcz da otther cant stand it dat ppl dnt stay 2gedder 4evvar. Plus ur a Mary-Sue girl witch iz y we luv u."

Just den we herd a noize. Dally was inna fite wit sum gie!

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Dally screechd. Da guy in frunna him lookd rly toueoeaouagh.

"ERMAHGERD DALLY WHO IZ DAT?!" yelld Austin.

"HIM WAS GANG LEEDR IN NY GF!"

Just den, da tuff dang leedre SPEEKED. "Yes, it is true. I am a gang leader from the city of downtown New York, New York. I led a gang and I have perfect syntax. I came to seek revenge on Dallas Winston, because his name is that of a Texas city, yet he dares try and invade my gang!" Then he saw me.

"PLZ sur, dont hurt mah fwendz!"

His i's got wi'd. "You are so beautiful that I _must_ leave you alone!"

Den he left.

"A'right lets gi back 2 that religious thingy I gotta bad feelin bout dis" sed Johnny so we left.

**A/N: That's it for this chapter. I hope you enjoid my protest on the way fearsome gang leaders nearly always end up having perfect grammar and almost NEVER use contractions. For example, most people end up with the gang leader saying to Dallas something like, "I have to go. Remain here with the rest of my companions," as he flees the police. No. If he even bothers to inform some kid what he's doing, he'd say it using a MUCH less intelligent-sounding sentence. There's an entire language at your disposal. Screw it! When you're making this guy's dialogue, use ****_gotta_****'s. Use ****_don't_****'s, ****_duh_****'s, ****_ain't_****'s, and as much cursing necessary. It's not offensive or stereotyping to do this with the gang leader's language. It adds some spice to your character and makes him overall a lot more fun to read.**

**I feel like Dr. Cuthbert Soup. Anyone else get that reference...?**


	8. Cadie's Crazy

**A/N: Alright guys. As you can probably see, we're already up to the part of the book where the church is buring, which means Ponywoman's Grate Adventure is almost over. For some of you who didn't read past chapter 1 and still think I'm an ignoramous (or if you're me), you might think it's good. If you thought this was funny, you might be bummed. If you're my grandma, I lost you at chapter 7, so whatever.**

**Also, just so you know, I will NOT be killing Dally or Johnny, because the ways they died were really serious and I don't want to offend anybody.**

When we arrived at ze cherch, It was in flames! I bet u didnt c that coming! But seriously, hears something unexpected: Jerry and the screaming woman were theere! They r always overlookd in fanfiks.

Tha lady was runnnin arownd scuhREEMIN! "THIS CHURCH IS ON FYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Jerry was just sittin dare bcz he cldnt fit throo da window bcz he was 2 fat. Just den, I noticed Cadie was missing! "Good thing we hav all da kids" sed ze wummin. Butt I soh somebuddy in tha church...

"ERMAHGERD CADIE'S IN THERE!" I scerreemd. Austin immediatly jumpd in n saved her just b4 the roof caved inn! But 2 are serprize, Cadie was struggling 2 get away from Austin...

"Cadie wut's rong?!" **(Your education) **I axd.

"U FOILED MY PLAN!" she yelled.

"...?"

"_I_ SET THE CHURCH ON FIRE! I WAS HOPING THAT ONCE JOHNNY SAW ME INSIDE, _HE_ WOULD COME FOR ME! Then I could light him on FIRE!"

"But WHY?"

"Because ever since I popped out of his jacket, jonni stopped luvin meh! And if i cnt have him, NOBODY CAN!"

Juust den Johnny spoke: "You could've lit the church on fire while we were _inside_..."

"But then-"

"Wait, wait, wait." said Ponyboy. We all looked at him. "WHY are we even here?"

"Uhhh..."

"You don't even know?!"

"We were following you!" I cried.

"No, WE were following YOU!"

"You know what, if we dont even have to be here, let's go home NAO."

Cadie and I went in Austin's car n da boiz went wit Dally. "Dnt wrry abt gettin hungry," said Austin. "There's balognee sndwitches in the glove compartment."

**A/N: Hope you enjoid! There's probably only going to be 2 or 3 chapters left. Thank God, I think I'm grammatically scarred. I might update later today, I have nothing to do, I just took a break from cleaning my room.**

**Thank you to Imagination's Child for your awesome reviews :) Made my day!**


	9. Titanic

**A/N: Hey, guys! This chapter is not in Ponywoman's POV, though, this is what was happening in Tulsa while they were gone. I promise it will be just as crazy as the other chapters, if not more so. But before I forget, ****_go look at my other fanfiction._**** I'm probably going to take it down. What do you think?**

**Anyway, without further ado, the chapter we've all been waiting for...**

It was about noon on Tuesday, and Darry was at work. Yes, even though Ponyboy, Ponywoman, Johnny, and Cadie were missing - dead, for all he knew - he still attended work, because he's bitter and doesn't care about Ponyboy, despite the revelation at the end of the novel.

But even Darry gets tired sometimes, which is why he decided to allow himself 5 minutes' break to have some coffee (which he drinks obsessively).

Carefully stepping off the roof onto his ladder, he muttered quietly to himself. "Careful...Careful..." Unfortunately, his prompts were pointless, because just as his weight landed on the ladder, it fell backwards.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Darry screamed louder than any girl in Oklahoma, preparing himself to hit the ground within a second. But to his immense relief, he landed in the pool!

Unfortunately (again), as he surfaced, he noticed some strange, silver triangles floating in the water, circling him...

With another shreik, he realized what the shapes were: sharks. He desperately tried to swim to shore (still screaming), his strokes made up of wild thrashes and splashing.

Just then, everyone's favorite manager ran from the front of the house. Darina came tearing through the gate, and discarded her clipboard onto the ground when she realized what was happening to her beloved.

"I'm coming, Darry!" she yelled, and then leapt into the pool after him, her weight causing a huge splash because there was so much of it.

The sharks were quickly scared away by her ugly face.

"I'll never let go, Darry! I'll never let go!"

"Thank you, my love!" panted Darry. He then said the same thing Ponywoman did the night it all began..."By the way, you have a bit of a mustache, sweetie."

Darina let go of Darry and swam to the shore herself. Darrel never got his coffee.

**A/N: That's all for today, guys**.


	10. THE LAST OF PONYWOMAN

**A/N: Okay, everybody, final chapter. Just so you know, I'm taking down my other fanfiction in exactly one week, because everybody hated it. I'm keeping it up for so long because I already shouted it out and I don't want to confuse anybody. Isn't it great how when I'm going for some flames in a story, you all love it, then when I actually take time out of my day to write, I get flames THERE instead. Lol. I originally had it up seriously, but then I deleted it and updated the summary and reposted it, so that's why none of the original reviews I'm referencing showed up.**

**I haven't taken it down yet, you can go bask in my failure if you want. The characters are dead to me now anyway so even if you like it (which I doubt you will) don't expect much from me. Unless a lot of you guys like it I'm probably not going to put it back in motion. Also: They were going to get into the canon story AFTER I introduce them. Literally, Ponyboy's their ****_partner_**** in chapter two. I had the whole storyline and it was gonna be really fun, but if you don't want to read it, I won't write it. I'm not forcing my writing on you if you don't enjoi ( :) ) it. Unfortunately I guess my reasearching did not pay off; They ****_are_**** Mary-Sues after all.**

**Thanks for listening to my rant. (Figuratively, since you can't actually hear ME, it's that little voice in your head.) Also, please don't get the impression I'm guilt-tripping you for not liking it. That's not the case. I just needed to get this out via-pen.**

_**And now, for the tenth and final installment of "Ponywoman's Grate Adventure ". . .**_

Epilogue

Ponywoman Kurtiss's fate had been coming to her since she was born: In the year 1989, she was commited to Laureate Psychiatric Clinic And Hospital. She has a comfortable straightjacket and a padded room all to herself. She was admitted into the hospital because, soon after finding out Ponyboy was not in love with her, her small brain (only able to hold limited information) went into overdrive, causing her to have a seizure. In the end, she was under the impression she was, in fact, a potato.

Cadie John was arrested at the age of 18. After setting fire to the church in Windrixville, Johnny Cade confessed he did not love her and dropped several heavy hints for her to f off. She began stalking him, but as no real evidence surfaced for several months it was impossible for Johnny to press charges. After a year of this behavior, Cadie broke into the Cade residence armed with a baseball bat and knocked out Mr. and Mrs. Cade with the weapon. She then beat Johnny with it, trying to murder him. Thinking she had done the job, she disposed of the baseball bat in the local dump and fled to Mexico. Unbenounced to her, however, Cade called the police. They found Cadie in

Chihuahua, Mexico a year later. She had been living under the fake name and identity, "Selena Gomez". She was given 2 life sentences to serve, under attempted murder, 2 charges breaking and entering (she had robbed a sports store to acquire the baseball bat), stalking, and 17 charges of arson. Johnny was taken out of custody of his parents after the police investigated the dwelling.

Dallas Winston, now 19, forged a license and was allowed full custody of the teenager. He stayed with Austin Houstin for over a year, as she was (in the author's opinion), the least annoting Mary-Sue besides Two-Bit's girlfriend, Two-Centz, who was totally forgotten in this fanfiction. (My apologies.) Winston had many other girlfriends, each for a varying time period, but he never married.

Two-Bit and Two-Centz, scarcely mentioned in this fanfiction, eloped but later divorced over an out-of-proportion dispute about whether Goofy from _Micky Mouse_ was any different from another dog character, Pluto.

Juicygirl and Sodapop never had a romantic relationship. While no comment was given to my sources from Soda, Juicygirl states, "It don't wanna date a guy with my last name. Plus, we're related now."

The reason they are related is because of the recent marriage of Darrel Curtis to Darina Kurtiss. After the shark incident, they broke up, but came back together after 2 years because they were both unable to find another partner. The marriage did not last long. Darina was verbally abusive and did an awful job at managing the company. Before the divorce, Ponyboy gave Darry the income from the book he and Johnny wrote, entitled _Our Crazy Exes_ to pay for his college funds.

After being well educated and gaining a better idea of what women are like, Darry realized Darina was also insane and made an ex of his own. She owns 7 cats (and counting) and currently resides in Maine.

That completes Ponywoman's Grate Adventure. I hope you enjoid.

**A/N: Well...that's it. Now, you guys have a choice.**

**I could do a Harry Potter parody next (it won't be like this, I have an idea and it has to do with an extra branch in the Ministry), or I could write a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles parody. My brother is obsessed with that show and I need to bash it.**

**So uh...yeah. Please vote, and if you have any other fandoms you want me to do, I'm here. You can Instagram me, too waste_of_paint_.**

**Thanks for reading! I love you guys!**


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